I should probably become a distance runner.
But I have the rong mentality.
I want every bit of pain and suffering to be done as fast as possible. So when it starts to hurt, I go faster.
And that in many cases deepens the pain.
In a race, you know how long it is. (there are a few grueling races where you don’t, and I’m never going to participate in those.)
However, in life, you never know when the end of a trail is.
So going faster is a bad plan. It doesn’t get the job done. It makes the situation worse with no end in sight.
That’s one reason I wrote I was living in a constant anxiety attack.
I’ve since been divinely promised deliverance. I still don’t know when, but some of the biggest struggles I’ve had have been lightened (not lifted, but lightened), and I have been reminded I should only run as fast as I am able, and accept that it might take a little longer than I would prefer.
But I can work constantly and endure for a long time. And time and pain are an excellent pair of teaching tools. Possibly the best.
So I should go as fast as I can, and no faster.