I sat through various fireworks being lit off tonight.
People here can just buy a bunch.
I grew up loving the chest thumping booms, and I’ve got a lot of fond memories of those.
But I haven’t really watched fireworks in a bunch of years.
Part of it is the whimsy of holidays is generally lost on me. I’m an adult, I pay for all my own stuff,I don’t have kids, and I think that wasting money is a cardinal sin.
Part of it is I have a lot of worries about the future and the state I’m currently in, and I want out.
That hasn’t really changed in the last decade?
It’s always about the next thing. I’ll get to that, then I’ll let myself relax and enjoy things.
The subtitle of this blog is nice. “Learning to enjoy the journey.” That is actually profound and quite helpful.
I often don’t enjoy what I’m doing right now. I am doing it to achieve something next. Recently I did that with a house remodel and I find myself not having learned that lesson with a partial remodel, so I find myself renovating an entire house. Every room.
So what do I want?
I want to enjoy fireworks next year. I want to be in a place–location and state of mind–where I can relax and just appreciate what I have and enjoy what is happening around me.
That may mean we need to travel for the holiday. It may mean we need to put special attention on them, and purposely choose to enjoy celebrations.
Maybe I should put some time tomorrow (while working on the remodel) to thinking about how to choose to step away and enjoy things.